suits and sneakers

Fashion Psychokinesis & You

2007-09-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

When I saw this $505 See by Chloe dress, I started willing Forever 21 to use their nimble design-stealing fingers and whip up a $20 dollar version ASAP.

I think I may have misdirected my mind control though, cause Delia's got to it first. Although there it's $48.50. God, I'm cheap.

Dreams of Rich Hordes

2007-09-23T18:32:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I have these vivid dreams of going to the thrift store and finding armfuls of amazing things. Sadly, in my waking life it's usually a dress that doesn't really fit and I don't realize until I get home that it has questionable armpit stains. Now I know where all the good stuff goes. TO CHARITY.

Goodwill of greater Washington recently held an online fashion show and eBay auction to benefit their mission of "providing job training to people with disadvantages and disabilities". The auction is only up for 5 more days, and the dresses are definitely the cutest:

Where was I when this stuff was unloaded?

More on the website, bid early, bid often!

WHY

2007-09-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think designers just put wacky trends out there, hoping people will bite. This is especially true of shoes. Like, a Nordstrom's shoe department shopper will say to herself-"My! Look at this vast array of ankle-height, pointy-toed cowboy shoes! There’s so many of them, it must mean I too must have a pair."

There is what I like to call the Frankenshoe. Take ____ shoe and cross it with ____ shoe. Remember those Timberland boots made into high heels? peep-toe boots, anyone?. The theory seems to involve taking the useful part of the shoe and somehow making it the "fashionable" part. With widely unsuccessful results.

And YOU, Marc Jacobs, AND YOU. How COULD you??

Normally, I believe that Marc Jacobs could put his label on a trash bag and I would find it covetable, but here's where I draw the line. Who needs separate socks when I can just glue them to my shoes?

But wait, he's not done yet:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

More horror and snickering can be found at the Ugly Shoes blog.

Hands OFF

2007-09-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

Some charming ambassadors of the Youth of Today recently stole my mom's wallet (she works at an elementary school, people) and rang up a huge bill at crap mall jewelry emporium Claire's. So when I saw this Jack Spade wallet, I knew it was a must have:

However, the $115 price tag is redonk. I would sooner recommend you wrangle a cheap black canvas wallet, a paint pen and some steady penmanship. Or if you have the kind of patience for embroidery, that would look nice too.

(thanks to nymag.com for le tip.)

What to wear to the Virgin Festival

2007-07-31T12:36:00.001-07:00

The Virgin Festival is this weekend in Pimlico, and even though you're going to want to look fashionable, you're also going to want to not sweat out every beer you drink. Actually, this may be a good tactic for avoiding the port-a-potties ... dehydration. However, if you're worried about heat stroke, please do not wear anything with sleeves or long pants. Basically, find the happy medium between this:

(If you wear something like this, I wish gross underboob sweat upon you.)
and this:

(If you wear something like this, I'll forgive you based on the fact that the headliners include the Smashing Pumpkins, the Beastle Boys and 311.)

A tank top or T-shirt and shorts will suffice. Keep it simple. Also, since it is the VIRGIN FESTIVAL, do not wear anything that will make me point to you and say, "Yo, that dude is like, REALLY going to the Virgin Festival."
Like this:

Dinner parties are fashionable, right?

2007-03-17T17:15:00.000-07:00

Many a wack dinner party has happened in our fair city of marble and nepotism.

Foie gras? Blah gras.

How does one make a dinner party special these days?

That's right, customized fortune cookies!

1 fortune in 12 cookies - $9
6 different fortunes in 12 cookies - $16
12 different fortunes in 12 cookies - $23
By the Custom Fortune Cookie Company

Some suggestions for fortunes, depending on the tack you want to take:

"Good luck will come to those who give their host $20." -- For the host with least (class, money, scruples... take your pick.)

"_____ is people." -- Insert the name of the dish you just served them. This is for the Harry Harrison buffs and/or fine young cannibals.

"SK8 BOARDING IS NOT A CRIME!" -- For the 13-year-olds in the crowd. What do you even know how to cook, anyhow?

"a/s/l?" -- This is for the internerd who threw a dinner party for all the "people" she's met online. This is really the only polite way to ask all three of these questions once you've moved past the AIM stage of a relationship.

Obligatory St. Patrick's day acknowledgement.

2007-03-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm a St. Patty's day scrooge because I'm so heartbreakingly Irish.

Or it's because bright green beer freaks me out.

Most probably both.

In any case, I wouldn't want to stifle anyone else's celebration, nor would I want to leave you in the very pinchable situation of a green-less outfit.

So, here you go:

Ring-Green Necklace - $12.50

From Kitengela Glass, a Kenyan company whose beautiful wares are all made from recycled glass. All their pieces are handmade, and packed in recycled materials. They say on their Web site, "Everything is unique -- nothing is wasted."

There are many other lovely items from this company -- all affordable with an earthy look that would go for four or five times as much at, say, Anthropologie.

Erin go braugh?

Please find me cuter shoes for under $20. Please.

2007-03-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so before anyone gets too excited, these are only available in a size 7.

For those of you with lucky feet:

Dora Kitten Heels - $17.80
From Forever21

The slight height lifts you out of the slush that D.C. is apparently incapable of removing, even weeks after a snowstorm.

The fatter heel will hopefully prevent you from getting stuck in the grooves of the steps on metro escalators.

Not that I've ever gotten stuck. Then fallen down. And panicked. That was just some girl who looked just like me.

Earrings for both the hungry and the nerdy.

2007-03-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

My ears aren't pierced.

This means, of course, that I'm fascinated with earrings. Well, not all earrings.

These earrings, specifically:

Lemon and Orange Earrings - $15 (for both)
By Stewart Jewelry Designs

First of all, what's that, like $3.75 a 'rring? Pssh.

Second, I love the bright colors, the fact that they're handmade, and reference citrus.

Third, while they're clearly kitschy, they could easily be worn and appreciated for their simple color/shape.

Say, the lemon pair the day you demand your money back from the craigslist dude who sold you a Nova that won't start.

And these:

Black Cyber B ug Earrings - $10
By Stewart Jewelry Designs

Made out of a set of Hex Inverters, these little guys will look like minimalist black earrings from across the room, and like you've been bugged by the Bush Administration to the person next to you.

Both very happening looks in the district.

I'm glad that at least one jewelry designer understands that not every woman wants to look like a Lisa Frank trapper keeper is attacking her ears.

On second thought, that might be sort of cool.